Overwhelm=Drama-Entertainment

Off to A Very Important Date!

You know that person who regularly shows up overwhelmed and breathless? Everything is an emergency with them. Life is a fire to put out. Slowing down is not an option. Mania becomes a substitute for productivity.

These are the least effective people I know. And, I should know — I used to be one of them. That is, until it became incredibly boring and unsustainable.

Points

Years ago, I worked in an environment in which we all took a sick pride being the (more…)

Saying Yes to Saying No

What better time of the year to practice the art of saying No than the holidays?  Tis the season to feel obligated to attend parties or family functions.  To overcommit, overeat, over drink, under exercise, over spend, and feel generally horrible by January 2nd!  If this (more…)

Creating an Upward Spiral

New Genetic Coding

First, the downward spiral

Most people can so easily see what isn’t working — as if we’re genetically coded to focus on problems. We’re too good at imagining worst case scenarios, wondering, “What if this goes wrong?  What if that goes wrong?”

Of course, we can also imagine best case scenarios

My coaching clients dream and imagine wonderful things for themselves, for their loved ones, and for the planet.  Yet many have a difficult time staying with these positive imaginings.  They find themselves worrying about (more…)

A Different Take on Goals

A few months ago, a client asked for some help setting and attaining goals. She had outgrown the process of using so-called S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, & timely) goals, so I offered her this process instead:

Slowing Down to Get Clear

Step One: Stop. It can seem weird to start with stopping; however, it is important to stop for the purpose of getting grounded in what you want, in what you are about, and in your conviction.   This will come more from your heart than your head.  This will help you harness and focus your energy.  And, if you don’t stop to do this, you run the risk of being scattered and burning out and them bumming out.

(more…)

A Taste of Mindfulness

A Taste of Mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Have you ever had the experience of stopping so completely,

of being in your body so completely,

of being in your life so completely,

that what you knew and what you didn’t know,

that what had been and what was yet to come,

(more…)

If Struggling Worked

Just Try Harder

I love this quote by Victoria Castle:

If struggling were the way to get there, we’d all be there by now.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the way many of us approach work.  Often, suffering and struggling is so much a part of the everyday experience that it goes unnoticed and unchallenged.  We can automatically and unconsciously believe the lies that say if we just try harder, work longer, suffer enough,….then it HAS to pay off….doesn’t it?  We like to call it “work ethic”.  Seems more like “carrot and stick”.

[Years ago I had a coach who suggested I take a baseball cap, cut a hole in the bill, (more…)

More Joy

In the book Living with Joy, there are a number of fabulous exercises. Here’s one:

1. List 7 things you love to do, that you feel joyful when you do them, that you haven’t done in the last several months. They may be anything — lying in the sun, taking a trip, getting a massage, accomplishing a goal, exercising, reading.

(more…)

Surfer’s Rules

Laird_photos_1_039

[Source unknown] The time to change is when you don’t have to, when you are on the crest of the wave, not in the trough.

1. PASSION RULES: The best surfers don’t spend a lot of time on the beach, talking about surfing. They love the water and no matter how rough or calm it is they are out there looking for a wave.

(more…)