Hold me close young Tony Danza

There’s a famous episode of Friends in which Phoebe Buffay claims the most romantic song ever was by Elton John…you know, the one that goes: ? “Hold me close young Tony Danza…”

Of course, Phoebe is referring to Elton John’s famous hit Tiny Dancer (which never once names Tony Danza!)

Don’t we all have stories of mishearing song lyrics and assuming we’ve got it right? Here’s one of mine…

The other day, I was on a walk—powered by Spotify’s Sam Cooke playlist—when his iconic Twistin’ the Night Away came up.

Now, I’ve heard this song 1,000s of times. So, I’m walking my neighborhood, singing along because I can and because I (mostly) don’t care about looking cool. And also, no one is around.

So I am belting out:

Here’s a man in evenin’ clothes
How he got here, I don’t know, but
Man, you oughta see him go
Twistin’ the night away!

He’s dancin’ with the chicken slacks ?
She’s a movin’ up and back
Oh man, there ain’t nothin’ like
Twistin’ the night away!

Wait….Chicken Slacks? What the……?

Having first encountered that song at age 6, I clearly and definitively heard ‘chicken slacks’. I was too young to clue into the slang of the real lyrics—’chick in slacks’. As in, a woman wearing pants.

This is that moment of a paradigm shift—something you’ve thought was so true but isn’t!

I bet you have stories like this, too. Song lyrics or popular sayings that you didn’t fully understand, so your brain filled in something else—even if that something else made little sense.

In most cases, such distortions go unchallenged for years — in my case, decades! And that had me wondering… What else am I holding firmly as TRUE that just isn’t?

I invite you to consider that question, too. It’s tricky, right? Where do we even begin?

One place to look – that is sure to generate greater power and freedom for you: your beliefs about financial Success & Security.

Consider this: What do you tell yourself is required to be financially successful?
Is it really true? How do you know?

How about this one: What do you believe makes you (or would make you) feel financially secure?

Most of us have many inherited familial, societal, and cultural beliefs and rules about these things. Many of those rules / beliefs are distorted and yet we live with them as if they are the undeniable Truth.

These distortions don’t give us much room to live a full, vibrant life. And isn’t that why we are here?

I’d love to hear what you discover.

(And if you want to share your funny stories of misheard song lyrics, I want to hear that, too!)

Finally, on January 12th from 11:30 am – 1:00 pm Eastern, Meredith Moore and I are hosting a FREE interactive webinar: Opening to a New Future in which we’ll help you illuminate outdated beliefs and start you on a process that you can work with going forward.

Click HERE to register.

Til then…

Hot Tip for Being A Leader People Want to Follow

This tip will help you create followership, whether you are: Crew 2010

  • giving tough feedback,
  • engaging an audience,
  • motivating a team,
  • guiding a friend or family member through a tough time,
  • building your business,
  • leading an athletic team to higher levels of performance,
  • teaching middle schoolers,
  • parenting,
  • wanting followership anywhere

At or With?

The world is full of people who operate with an attitude of “At”.  Truth is, we’ve all done it.  We were in a hurry or stressed out and started talking “At” other people rather than with them.   In this state of “At”, we unconsciously view other people in one of three ways:

  1. Obstacles  – preventing us from having or getting what we want
  2. Vehicles — for having or getting what we want
  3. Irrelevant — not worth our time, energy or attention

The Problem with “At”

Being “At” people damages relationships and generally makes life harder for yourself and others.  It has a quality of being against; it pushes. “At” fuels distrust, upset, resentment, resistance, anger, shouting, and sometimes even violence. “I’m right! You’re wrong!”  When operating from “At”, the best you can hope for, in terms of followership, is to gain the appearance of compliance.

The Benefit of  “With”

Pinky swear“With” attracts rather than pushes. It is like standing beside someone, conveying that you are on their side, an ally.  Together, you are looking at problems or challenges and together you are coming up with solutions and goals. When you are “With” someone you can create genuine Followership because being “With” does not invalidate other views, opinions, or beliefs.  Instead, it makes room for differences while creating alignment.

When you are “With”, you invite others to join you. When you are “At”, you seek to defeat, compete, be right or be better than the other person.

“At” is the ego’s attempt to get a cheap hit of power.  Power over others.

“With” is the heart’s desire for genuine personal power.  Power with others.

How to Get With the “With” Program

First — make a personal commitment to be “With”.  Be honset with yourself:  are you viewing anyone as an obstacle, vehicle, or irrelevant?  Practice connecting human being to human being.

Second —  how  do you treat people you don’t know very well: store clerks, other drivers on the road, customer service people, etc.?  If you can bring the spirit of “With” here, it will be easier in other areas.

Third — bust yourself.  Tell others about this tip.  Ask for feedback on how you are doing.

Fourth — take on the exercise below.

 

Exercise:

What is one situation where you have been predominately “At” and are now willing to redefine your position and be “With”?  What would being “With” look like, sound like, and feel like? What would be the impact of this type of shift  — on you, on others, on the environment?  Take action, communicate, or otherwise engage people in this situation from an attitude of “With” and notice what happens.  (Give it more than one shot.)