When to Use the F-Word

As Much As Possible!

Everywhere, with everyone.  Naturally, the f-word I’m referring to is “FUN”. F-Word

People hire me because they want to experience greater success and happiness. You’d be surprised how much they resist Fun.

At first, they think I’m joking.  When I press, it can get ugly:

Me:  What would it be like to bring Fun to doing your taxes?

Client:  Hahahaha…yeah, right….

Me:  I’m serious — how could you bring Fun to doing your taxes?

Client:  Are you feeling ok?  Are you insane?

Me:  (coach-like silence)

Client:  WTF??  No way!  Have you ever done taxes?  You can’t just….I can’t….  WTF?  If I went around having “Fun” [exaggerated sarcasm], nothing would get done!  I’d go broke!  They’d lock me away!  No way!  What are you talking about?  What’s wrong with you?

Why So Threatening?

Bizarre, isn’t it, how threatening Fun can be?  Turns out, we have a long list of reasons:

  • We have it confused with childhood or adolescent ideas of Fun:  balloons, cookies, & beer  
  • We have it collapsed with goofing off or getting in trouble
  • We think it makes us seem like we aren’t committed or serious
  • We’ve been conditioned to believe we must earn the right to have Fun
  • We’ve been trained to compartmentalize Fun — it’s for weekends and vacations
  • Fun often triggers intense emotions (joy, gratitude, love) & we don’t want to be exposed, even in our glory
  • We believe Fun is weak or naive because it’s vulnerable
  • We believe we can only grow through pain, not through Fun
  • We feel guilty: “I can’t have Fun while others are hurting!”
  • We’re addicted to self-pity, struggle, suffering, guilt, blame, control, and/or martyrdom
  • We want to fit in — most of the world operates from “Ain’t it awful!” and misery loves company
  • We don’t know how to bring Fun to different areas of life, in part, because we don’t have a matured definition.

What If?

What if learning to have Fun were the most profound thing you could do for your growth?

What if Fun included all of the common things like laughter, celebrating special occasions, and entertainment but was expansive and mature enough to include :

  • fulfilling your commitments
  • honoring your values
  • living with integrity
  • learning something new, even if you’re terrible at it
  • helping others
  • forgiving yourself and others
  • succeeding and learning from it
  • failing and learning from it
  • telling the hard truth
  • doing taxes

What if you decided to bring your sense of Fun to all that you do?

Practical Application

The first step in learning to bring Fun to all that you do is to examine your relationship with Fun itself.  Here are some tips:

  • Explore your own resistance to Fun.  What rules have you made up about it?
  • What are you considering NOT FUN?  Why isn’t it fun?  What’s the story you are telling about it (if only to yourself)?
  • Allow your definition to expand.  Experiment by bringing Fun to your answer above. (Review the “What If” list if you get stuck.)
  • What is genuinely Fun for you at this point in your life?  Do more of that.
  • Decide to “peel away from the pack” and don’t participate in the complaining, struggling Ain’t It Awful club.  Try thinking the mantra: “That may be true for them, but it is not true for me.”

Have Fun!

Surfer’s Rules

Laird_photos_1_039

[Source unknown] The time to change is when you don’t have to, when you are on the crest of the wave, not in the trough.

1. PASSION RULES: The best surfers don’t spend a lot of time on the beach, talking about surfing. They love the water and no matter how rough or calm it is they are out there looking for a wave.

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